Posted by lovesbitch on September 13, 2010 at 11:31 PM
because I tell ya, there had better be some reason for the way I feel. OK, clinical depression/bipolar depending on who you ask plus severe anxiety attacks that keep me housebound. That's about enough, I would have said. That's along with the shitload of physical health problems too.
So, yea. I turn 49 at the end of the year and I have long looked forward to menopause because hey, who needs periods? I knew I was likely to go through stuff, as my PMS has long been really bad, but this ......
I have been "without" for over 2 months I think and in that time - aside from more headaches even than usual, upset stomach, dizzy, exhausted but unable to sleep - my mind has been slowly worsening every day. For the past 10 years reading, tv, movies - they have filled my days & made each one almost bearable. Now I hate every book I own, don't turn the tv on, feel like smashing my dvds -- and the huge problem is I have NOTHING to replace them. When I get on the computer I spend money I don't have. There is nothing else to do. Literally. I am so fucking angry all the time, which is different. Sad, anxious, even hysterical is normal for me but this fury, at nothing & everything, it's wearing me down even more.
So, yea. There had better be an upside to all this shit, like no more tampons. Because if this is all a false alarm I am REALLY going to hit someone.